Low libido: natural solutions and truly effective tips

1. Low libido: when is it really a problem?

The first thing to clarify is that your libido doesn't need to be high all the time . It fluctuates with:

• stress, fatigue, sleep,
• the hormonal cycle, pregnancy, postpartum, menopause, age,
• the quality of the relationship, conflicts, mental workload,
• medications, physical or mental health.

We speak of a " desire disorder " (such as hypoactive sexual desire disorder , or HSDD) when there is a lack of desire:

• lasts over time (several months),
• repeats itself,
• It causes real suffering for you or tension in the relationship.

Recent estimates suggest that approximately 1 in 10 adult women may be affected by HSDD, with higher numbers among perimenopausal and menopausal women. ISSWSH – Female Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder – 2023 HSDD Review

Key point: it's not the frequency of your desires that determines if there's a problem, but whether this situation is causing you distress (or impacting your relationship) and whether you'd like things to change. If you feel your desire has been put on hold, especially after a period of intense pressure, the article "Stress and Sexuality: 7 Rituals to Reconnect with Your Body" can help you make the connection.

2. Why your libido might decrease: the most common causes

Often, a decrease in libido doesn't have a single cause but a combination of factors . Among the most frequent are:

Chronic stress, fatigue, lack of sleep

Several studies show a clear link between poor sleep quality and sexual problems in women (desire, arousal, pain) and in men (erectile difficulties). Association between sleep and female sexual function – Sleep and erectile function in young men

Hormones and life stages

Desire can decline at certain times: postpartum, breastfeeding, perimenopause, menopause, low testosterone, thyroid disorders… Reviews indicate that decreased desire increases with age and certain hormonal factors. JAMA – Prevalence of Low Sexual Desire – 2025 Review on Female Sexual Dysfunction and Sedentary Lifestyle

Drugs

Certain medications are known to affect libido and/or orgasm: antidepressants (SSRIs), some antihypertensives, hormone replacement therapies, benzodiazepines, and sleeping pills… Review of medications and sexuality – Insomnia, benzodiazepines, and sexual dysfunction

Physical illnesses and mental health

Depression, anxiety, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, chronic pain, obesity, etc., increase the risk of sexual dysfunction and decreased libido. Study on the prevalence of sexual dysfunction

Relationship, mental load, context

Unresolved conflicts, resentment, lack of time together, overwhelming mental load, feeling undesirable… all of this takes a heavy toll on libido. Studies of couples show that desire drops when stress, fatigue, and a lack of connection combine. 2025 study on mindfulness and sexual function in daily life

On these very concrete aspects of life as a couple, you will find practical ideas in "Couple: 10 intimate rituals to rekindle desire" .

Performance pressure, pornography, self-image

If you associate sexuality with "success," "lasting a long time," "necessarily orgasming," or if you constantly compare yourself to what you see in porn, your brain goes into surveillance mode, not pleasure mode. This often kills the desire before you even begin. The article "Masturbation: How to Overcome Shame and Flourish" can help you unravel these expectations and this sometimes complicated relationship with porn.

3. Natural solutions: start with the basics (sleep, stress, movement)

Before looking for a "miracle solution", starting by strengthening the ground already makes a huge difference.

3.1. Take care of your sleep

Studies show that people with poor sleep quality experience significantly more sexual problems (desire, arousal, erection). Sleep & sexuality in women – Sleep & erectile function

A few simple steps that can help:

• aim for (as much as possible) 7–9 hours of regular sleep,
• Limit screen time 1 hour before bedtime.
• Avoid alcohol as a "sleeping aid" (it disrupts sleep and impairs erections).
• create a small evening ritual: shower, herbal tea, soft lighting.

3.2. Move (a little) to get the body going again

A vibrant sex life requires a well-functioning cardiovascular system. Reviews and meta-analyses show that regular physical activity improves sexual function in women (especially around menopause) and in men with erectile dysfunction. Exercise & Desire in Women – 2023 Meta-Analysis: Exercise & Erectile Function – Sedentary Lifestyle & Female Sexual Dysfunction

No need to become a marathon runner: the goal is a little more than now :

• brisk walking at a regular pace
• a few moderate cardio sessions per week
• a little muscle strengthening (muscles also support vascularization and hormones).

3.3. Calming the nervous system (stress & anxiety)

Chronic stress puts your body in survival mode, not pleasure mode. Studies show that mindfulness programs tailored to sexuality improve desire, arousal, lubrication, and satisfaction, especially in women with sexual desire disorders. Brotto 2014 – Mindfulness-Based Group Therapy – Online Intervention for Sexual Desire Disorders – Mindfulness & Sexual Function

You can start by

• 3–5 minutes per day of slow breathing (inhalation 4s, exhalation 6–8s),
• an audio body scan before sleeping,
• taking "100% present" breaks during hugs or caresses (focusing on the sensations rather than the result).

For a very concrete breakdown in 7 rituals, take a look at our stress & sexuality guide , which perfectly complements this chapter.

4. Reconnecting with desire: body, imagination and relationship

4.1. Relearning to feel without an "objective"

When libido is low, many people say to themselves, "The problem is that I don't want sex." Another way to start is to ask yourself, "What makes me feel good in my body, even outside of sex?"

Some suggestions:

• non-sexual massages (shoulders, back, feet),
• Caresses in the shower with an oil or gel you like,
• moments of cuddling without obligation to go any further.

Studies on sexual mindfulness show that learning to be more present with one's daily sensations can support sexual function on a daily basis. Mindfulness & sexuality in everyday life

For inspiration, you can explore our article on touch and sensuality , or try new textures with a sensory lubricant or massage oil.

4.2. Give your fantasies a place again

Desire doesn't just originate in the body, but also in the imagination : scenarios, memories, stories, erotic content that resonates with you (books, audio, selected films). You have the right to:

• to like some themes and reject others,
• to be more stimulated by emotion, slowness, and context than by the raw image,
• to explore solo to better understand what excites you – without obligation to share everything.

If you want to work on this link between fantasies, solo pleasure and self-compassion, our article on masturbation and shame can help you.

4.3. Maintain the relationship rather than "forcing" the relationship

Many couples get caught in a cycle of "more desire → more sex → even less desire → tension." Change the logic to focus on:

• moments of non-sexual intimacy (walks, watching movies together, showering together),
• a regular "couple's chat" where we talk about everything except children/work,
• sensual moments (caresses, kisses, massages) without obligation of penetration or orgasm.

Recent research on mindfulness in couples shows that cultivating a curious and less judgmental presence in the relationship improves sexual and relational well-being. Mindfulness & Intimate Relationships

You will find plenty of concrete ideas for these moments in "10 intimate rituals to revive desire" and in "Pleasure without penetration: 15 really effective ideas" , to adapt with or without sex toys for couples .

5. Sort through: environment, habits, and medications

5.1. Mental workload, screens, multitasking

If your brain is constantly making lists ("laundry, emails, appointments, groceries…"), it struggles to be available for desire. You can try this:

• a "screen-free" slot in the evening.
• Write down your to-do lists on paper before sitting down with your partner.
• to symbolically give you permission to leave the tasks for later.

Combining this with a "mini date" at home, as suggested in our article on couple rituals , can already change the atmosphere.

5.2. Review your medications with a professional

If your decreased libido appeared after starting a new medication (antidepressant, anxiolytic, sleeping pill, antihypertensive, etc.), don't hesitate to talk to your doctor. Reviews detail the role of many medications in disorders of desire, arousal, and orgasm. Review on medications & sexual dysfunctions – Insomnia, benzodiazepines & libido

Important: Never change your treatment on your own. The idea is to open a discussion to potentially adjust the dose, the timing of intake, or change medication if possible.

5.3. Supplements and “natural boosters”: caution

You'll find a thousand promises of miracle pills to "boost libido". In reality:

• The quality of dietary supplements varies greatly.
• The studies are often small in size and not always of good quality.
• Some plants may interact with medications or be inadvisable (liver, heart, blood pressure, etc.).

If you're considering a supplement, discuss it with a trained doctor, pharmacist, or naturopath, especially if you're already taking medication. And remember that adjustments to your lifestyle (stress management, sleep patterns, relationship rituals, stress-relief routines ) often have a greater real impact than any pill.

6. A mini action plan to gently boost your libido

Here's a very concrete way to start, without putting pressure on yourself:

1. Choose a single "health" lever for the coming month (sleep, walking, less alcohol, etc.).
2. Plan a moment of non-sexual intimacy each week (massage, bath, nap together…).
3. Reserve a "fantasy" slot for solo activities (reading, audio, writing...), with no obligation to orgasm.
4. Speak to your partner once about what you are going through (without blaming yourself, without accusing them).
5. Observe what changes over 4 to 6 weeks: energy, connection, desires.

You can use our practical guides – for example , pleasure without penetration or intimate couple rituals – and, if you wish, prepare a small “pleasure kit” with a couple’s set or a sex toy to explore together .

If, despite these adjustments, the suffering remains intense, it is not a failure: it is a valuable signal that it is time to be supported.

7. When is it important to consult a professional?

You can certainly try natural trails on your own. But it's really recommended to consult an expert if:

• Your decreased libido has lasted for several months and is causing you suffering.
• It is accompanied by pain (penetration, painful erection…),
• You notice new physical symptoms (extreme fatigue, weight loss, night sweats…),
• You feel depressed, anxious, at your wit's end ,
• Tensions in your relationship are becoming very strong around sexuality.

A doctor (general practitioner, gynecologist, urologist), a sexologist, or a psychologist trained in sexual health can help you sort out what is:

• physical factors (hormones, pathologies, medications),
• psychological (stress, trauma, depression, anxiety),
• relational (conflicts, communication, couple dynamics).

You don't have to "earn" help by feeling bad "long enough." The simple fact that this issue is weighing on you is a good reason to ask for support. In the meantime, you can continue to nurture yourself with gentle resources like pleasure & mental health or stress & sexuality .

Conclusion: your libido isn't broken, it's talking to you

A low libido is not a final verdict on you, your desire, or your relationship. It's often a sign that your body, your brain, or your life needs adjustments: less pressure, more rest, more gentleness, more curiosity.

You have the right to

• not wanting to all the time,
• saying no when you don't want to,
• looking for solutions to regain more motivation,
• Get support if you feel stuck.

Your libido doesn't need to be perfect. It needs to be listened to. And if you'd like to continue on this path, you can explore at your own pace our other guides on desire in relationships , masturbation without shame , or pleasure without penetration , as well as our selection of couples' kits to support these changes in practice.

FAQ: Low libido and natural solutions

Is it normal for my libido to vary throughout my life?

Yes, that's perfectly normal. Studies show that sexual desire varies with age, health, hormones, relationship quality, stress, and other factors. For example, some surveys found that around 20% of women and 8% of men have a low sex drive, with this percentage increasing with age. (Study on low sex drive)

If you want to better understand how pleasure and mental well-being influence each other, you can also read our article on the benefits of pleasure for mental health .

Low libido = I no longer love my partner?

Not necessarily. Desire depends on much more than love: fatigue, mental load, stress, self-image, hormones, medication… In some studies, many people with low sexual desire report being satisfied with their relationship, but exhausted or under pressure. Study on lack of sexual interest

If you are asking yourself this question as a couple, the article "Couple: 10 intimate rituals to rekindle desire" can be a good starting point for discussion between two people.

Does porn necessarily "kill" libido?

It all depends on how you use it. For some people, certain types of content can fuel desire; for others, intensive consumption can create a form of habituation (the brain gets used to a certain type of stimulation) and make it harder to feel aroused in real-life situations. If you suspect this is having an impact, you can try it out: reduce or stop for a few weeks, observe what changes, and perhaps seek professional help.

To approach this topic gently, especially regarding masturbation, you can refer to our guide on masturbation and shame .

What is the difference between "low libido" and HSDD?

Low libido is generally used to describe a feeling of "less desire." HSDD (or hypoactive sexual desire disorder) is a clinical term that implies:

• a persistent decrease in desire
• which causes significant distress
• and which has been going on for several months.

Recent reviews estimate that HSDD affects approximately 10% of adult women , with variations depending on age. ISSWSH – HSDD – 2023 HSDD Review

Are natural solutions always sufficient?

Not always, but they are an essential foundation . Sleep, physical activity, stress reduction, communication, and medication adjustments can already bring about real improvement. In some cases (trauma, depression, hormonal or cardiovascular disorders, etc.), additional medical or psychological support is essential.

For a comprehensive approach (pleasure, mental health, stress), you can combine this guide with our article on pleasure & mental health and the one on stress and sexuality .

How long does it take to see an improvement?

It varies greatly. Studies on exercise or mindfulness report significant effects after a few weeks to a few months of regular practice. (Exercise & Desire Study – Mindfulness & Desire Program) But even small changes (a little more sleep, a little time for yourself, an honest conversation with your partner) can already ease the pressure.

I haven't had any desire for sex for a long time, is it hopeless?

No. But it's an important sign . When desire remains nonexistent for a long time, it's really helpful to seek professional help so you don't have to deal with it alone. In many cases, by working on overall health, the relationship, and sometimes with specific therapy or treatment, it's possible to rediscover a sexuality that makes sense to you—even if it doesn't conform to stereotypes.

In parallel, you can offer yourself spaces of gentleness (pleasure without objective with our guide on pleasure without penetration , moments of slow sex inspired by slow intimacy , benevolent self-pleasure with or without sex toys or toys for couples ) so that your body gradually finds pleasant points of support.

Sources and resources for further information on low libido

To delve deeper into the topic of decreased libido, natural solutions, and treatment options, here are some resources (mostly in English):

• Prevalence of low libido and sexual dysfunction
  Graham et al., 2017 – Lacking interest in sex
  Pedersen et al., 2015 – Low sexual desire and satisfaction
  Rosen et al., Prevalence and risk factors of sexual dysfunction
  Salari et al., 2025 – Global prevalence of female sexual dysfunction
• HSDD and desire disorders
  Clayton et al., 2018 – ISSWSH Consensus on HSDD
  Ronghe et al., 2023 – Understanding HSDD
  Salari et al., 2023 – What Women Want? (HSDD & female desire)
• Sleep, stress and sexuality
  Vázquez et al., 2023 – Sleep quality & female sexual function
  Nebioğlu et al., 2025 – Sleep & erectile function
• Mindfulness, sexuality and couples
  Brotto et al., 2014 – Group mindfulness-based therapy & desire
  Brotto et al., 2022 – Online mindfulness for low desire
  Krieger et al., 2023 – Mindfulness in sex therapy and relationships
  Jarvis et al., 2025 – Mindfulness & daily sexual function
• Physical exercise and sexual function
  Lorenz et al., 2014 – Exercise & sexual function in women
  Khera et al., 2023 – Effect of aerobic exercise on erectile function
  Salari et al., 2025 – Female sexual inactivity and dysfunction
• Medications, anxiolytics, sleeping pills
  Balon, 2009 – Medications and sexual function
  Navarrete-Anaya et al., 2025 – Insomnia, benzodiazepines & sexual dysfunction

These resources will allow you to delve deeper into the medical, psychological, and relational aspects of libido—so you can make informed choices at your own pace. And to keep things practical and gentle, you can continue your exploration with our articles on stress and sexuality , couple rituals , and pleasure without penetration , or discover our couples kits to turn these ideas into concrete experiences.