Sex toys: 10 common mistakes to absolutely avoid

1. Buying the first "trendy" sex toy without asking yourself what your body likes

First classic mistake: buying the most popular sex toy on TikTok or on the front page of a website without asking yourself what you really like.

A sex toy isn't a smartphone: the "best-seller" isn't necessarily the one that will suit you best. Some bodies prefer external and gentle stimulation, others deep vibrations, and still others prefer non-vibrating toys, pressure, textures…

To avoid this mistake:

• Ask yourself: "What do I already enjoy without sex toys?" (pressure, caresses, vibrations, favorite areas...). Our articles on pleasure zones for people with vulvas and on male pleasure can help you with this.
• Read the descriptions: type of stimulation (external/internal), intensity, size, materials.
• Explore the categories that match your desires: for example, clitoral stimulators , G-spot toys , anal sex toys …
• If possible, seek advice from a specialist shop (often helpful and trained in these matters).
  
  

2. Not reading the instructions (and using the toy improperly)

It might seem basic, but many people throw away the instruction manual as soon as they open the box. Problem: you're missing out on crucial information.

• Waterproof or not (can it be used in the shower?),
• compatible lubricant type
• maximum charging time,
• How the modes work, safety precautions.

A sex toy is still an object that you put on or in your body . It's worth spending 5 minutes reading what the manufacturer specifies.

The right reflex

Keep the instructions nearby (or take a photo) and check at least:

• whether the toy is waterproof, splashproof or not waterproof,
• the recommended type of lubricant (often indicated, and to be chosen for example from our sex toy compatible lubricants ),
• cleaning instructions, which we also detail in our articles on the use of sex toys in couples and on remote pleasure (connected sex toys).
  
  

3. Not cleaning (or not cleaning properly) your sex toys

This is the number one mistake highlighted by most sexologists and specialized guides: a poorly cleaned sex toy can become a breeding ground for bacteria . Even if you're in good health, residues of lubricant, secretions, or microorganisms can remain on the toy and disrupt your vaginal flora.

Medical articles remind us that a contaminated toy (or one shared without cleaning) can transmit certain STIs, but also promote fungal infections, bacterial vaginosis or urinary tract infections if the flora is unbalanced.

How to properly clean a sex toy?

• Immediately after use, rinse it with warm water and a mild, unscented soap or a special sex toy cleaner.
• Do not soak an electrical toy not designed for it, even if it is "water resistant".
• Dry it thoroughly with a clean towel or in the open air.
• Store it in a clean pouch or box, away from dust and other toys that might "stick" to it.

Some non-porous materials (platinum silicone, stainless steel, high-quality tempered glass) can withstand more thorough cleaning (according to the manufacturer's recommendations). Others, being porous, will never be 100% sterilizable: in this case, remember to use a condom, especially if you're sharing it, as we also explain in our article on sex toys for couples .

4. Using the wrong lubricant (and damaging the toy or your body)

Lubricant can make all the difference between "meh" and "wow." But not all lubricants are compatible with all sex toys.

Some basic rules:

• Silicone + silicone : often discouraged. Many manufacturers advise against using silicone-based lubricants with silicone sex toys, as this can damage the toy's surface over time.
• Oil + latex : oil-based lubricants (vegetable oils, petroleum jelly, etc.) are not compatible with latex condoms (risk of breakage).
• Scented/sweetened lubricant : some glycerin-based or very sweet lubricants can promote fungal infections in sensitive individuals.

In practice:

• If your sex toy is made of silicone, the simplest combination is still a good quality water-based lubricant , chosen from a suitable range such as our intimate lubricants .
• If you use condoms, always check the lube/latex compatibility.
• If you have a sex toy made of porous or fragile material, strictly follow the manufacturer's instructions.
• And if you want to explore more broadly the links between comfort, pleasure and lubricant, you can take a look at our articles on pleasure without penetration or on slow intimacy .
  
  

5. Sharing a sex toy without protection or cleaning

Yes, you can transmit an STI via a shared sex toy if it hasn't been properly cleaned, or if it's used successively on several people without protection. Public health organizations recommend using a condom with shared sex toys and washing them thoroughly between each use.

The golden rules of sharing

• Ideally, each person has their own personal sex toy .
• If a toy is shared, put a condom on it and change it for each new person or change of area (e.g., from anus to vagina).
• Wash the toy after use, even if a condom has been used.

These rules also apply to couples: many STIs and infections are transmitted in stable relationships simply due to a lack of information. To learn more about using sex toys as a couple, you can consult our guide "How to integrate a sex toy into your relationship without embarrassment?" and discover our selection of sex toys for couples designed for sharing.

6. Moving from anal to vaginal sex without precautions

This is a mistake mentioned in all safety guides: never switch directly from anal to vaginal use with the same sex toy without a new condom and cleaning . The bacteria naturally present in the rectum have no place in the vagina.

To put it simply:

• If a toy is used in the anus, it must remain anal or be used with a single-use condom .
• If you then want to use it vaginally, remove the condom, wash the toy, and put on a new one.
• Many people choose to have dedicated toys (anal vs vaginal) for simplicity: for example, one toy in our anal sex toy collection and another in our vulva sex toy collection .

We also discuss these precautions in our articles on soft BDSM , where we sometimes combine anal play, bondage and toys: intestinal and vaginal safety remains an absolute priority.

7. Choosing questionable materials (and ignoring the notion of "body-safe")

Not all sex toys are created equal in terms of materials. Some are non-porous and stable (quality silicone, stainless steel, tempered glass, ABS), while others are porous or contain controversial substances (some PVC, "jelly", low-end thermoplastics).

Porous materials can:

• to retain bacteria more easily
• change of texture (sticky, bleached),
• sometimes contain phthalates or additives whose safety is debated.

Good buying instinct

• Opt for sex toys advertised as body-safe (medical-grade silicone, steel, glass, ABS, etc.). This is the case for the majority of toys offered in our collections of sex toys for women , sex toys for men , anal sex toys , and sex toys for couples .
• Avoid toys that smell strongly of plastic or chemicals.
• For toys made of porous materials that you already own, use a condom and monitor their condition.

If you want to better understand how these material choices influence your comfort and pleasure, you can supplement with our educational guides on the body and sensation zones or on accessories for male pleasure .

8. Ignoring pain, irritation, or unusual reactions

A sex toy is supposed to bring pleasure, not cause pain. Yet many people continue using it despite discomfort, burning, itching, or minor pain, telling themselves "it will pass".

To watch

• redness, irritation, burning sensation after use,
• internal or persistent pain
• Fungal infections or urinary tract infections that often recur after using the same toy or lubricant.

In this case :

• Stop using the toy or lubricant in question.
• cleans thoroughly
• consult a healthcare professional if symptoms persist (yeast infection, vaginosis, irritation, etc.).

Your comfort and health take precedence over the profitability of your sex toy. And if pain or discomfort is mixed with difficulties experiencing pleasure, you'll find helpful guidance in our articles on female pleasure , male sexuality , or the link between stress and sexuality .

9. Improperly charging/storing your sex toy (and killing it prematurely)

Another category of mistakes: those that don't affect your body, but your wallet. Improperly charging or storing a sex toy can significantly reduce its lifespan.

Some common mistakes:

• Leaving it to charge all night when the manufacturer recommends a specific time.
• Store it while still damp in a closed bag (hello bacteria and mold).
• Leaving it in the sun or in a hot car (the materials will warp).
• Storing it stuck to other silicone sex toys of dubious quality (risk of fusion/glue).

Read the charging instructions, dry thoroughly, and store away from heat and dust—these are the basics for keeping your toy performing well and safe for a long time. This is even more important if you invest in more technical models (for example , connected sex toys for couples or prostate/anal stimulators ).

10. Expecting a sex toy to "fix" your sex life or your relationship

The final, more subtle mistake: placing on a sex toy the impossible mission of "saving" a couple in difficulty, resolving traumas, or single-handedly repairing a flagging libido.

A sex toy can:

• to bring fun, novelty, curiosity,
• to help you explore your body in a different way,
• reduce the orgasm gap in the couple,
• to give you more confidence in your ability to experience pleasure.

But it does not replace:

• communication within the couple
• work on mental workload, conflicts, trust,
• professional support when there is pain, trauma or deep blockages.

Think of it as a tool to enhance your pleasure and your connection, not as a miracle solution. To nurture intimacy on other levels, you can also refer to our articles "10 Intimate Rituals to Rekindle Desire," on slow intimacy , or on long-distance pleasure if you don't live together.

Conclusion: sex toys, yes… but with gentleness and common sense

Sex toys can be valuable allies in your pleasure, self-discovery, and intimacy with your partner. But as with everything related to the body, a few simple rules make all the difference:

• choose quality materials,
• clean thoroughly
• use a compatible lubricant.
• Protect and wash if sharing.
• Listen to your body and your limits.

You don't need an endless collection of sex toys: what you need most is information, kindness, and curiosity.

The rest, your body and your pleasure know perfectly well how to take care of. And if you want to continue reading with some concrete suggestions, you can explore:

• Our educational guides: female pleasure , male pleasure , sex toys for couples , sexual fantasies …
• and our product selections: sex toys for women , sex toys for men , sex toys for couples , anal sex toys and lubricants .

From there, you can consciously choose what resonates with you, your body, and your way of loving.

FAQ: Using sex toys safely

Are sex toys really "safe" for your health?

Sex toys from reputable brands, made from body-safe materials (quality silicone, steel, glass, ABS, etc.), and used and cleaned properly, are generally safe for most people. The risks mainly come from porous or low-quality materials, poor hygiene, or sharing without protection. If you have any doubts, choose toys made from non-porous materials and brands that are transparent about their composition, like those you'll find in our collections of sex toys for women , sex toys for men , and anal sex toys .

Can you catch an STI from a sex toy?

Yes, it's possible if a sex toy is used by someone with an STI and then used by another person without cleaning or protection . Many health organizations recommend using a condom with shared sex toys, changing it for each person, and washing the toy after use. A personal, non-shared, and thoroughly cleaned sex toy greatly reduces this risk. For couples' play, you can also consult our guide on sex toys for couples and, if you're in a long-distance relationship, on long-distance pleasure and connected sex toys.

How do I know if my sex toy needs to be replaced?

Some signs that should alert you:

• change in odor (strong chemical, rancid odor),
• sticky, cracked or discolored surface,
• micro-cracks or unusual texture,
• Battery overheating, electrical malfunctions.

In this case, it's best to replace it (especially if it's made of porous material). Don't risk your body with a worn-out toy. This could be an opportunity to switch to a model better suited to your current sensations, for example, from our clitoral , G-spot , or couples' selections.

Do I absolutely have to use lubricant with a sex toy?

It's not "mandatory," but very often recommended . Lubricant reduces friction and irritation, and can even enhance sensations. Choose one that's compatible with your toy (often water-based for silicone) and suited to your sensitivity (fragrance-free, glycerin-free if you're prone to yeast infections, for example). You'll find various options in our lubricant collection, for use both solo and with a partner, with or without penetration (as explained in our article on pleasure without penetration ).

Do sex toys make you "addicted" or prevent you from experiencing pleasure without them?

A sex toy doesn't "break" your body. However, if you only use one type of stimulation, always in the same place, with the same intensity, your brain and body can tend to get used to it. Varying the rhythms, the areas, and the scenarios (with or without a toy) helps maintain flexibility in your sexual response. Think of sex toys as an extra , not your only option. To diversify your pleasure, you can draw inspiration from our guides on erogenous zones , modern techniques for male pleasure , or sexual fantasies .

I'm a beginner: what type of sex toy should I start with?

It all depends on what speaks to you most:

• If you're not sure what to do, a small external stimulator (clitoris, penis, nipples…) is often a good starting point. You'll find them in our clitoral sex toy collections or our men's sex toy collections.
• If you are sensitive to noise/discretion, check the reviews about the sound level.
• If you're a beginner, avoid very large sizes or ultra-powerful vibrations right away.

And above all, give yourself permission to experiment without judgment: what doesn't suit you today might suit you later, or vice versa. You can also refer to our articles on introducing sex toys into a relationship and exploring your pleasure zones to find what works best for you.

Sources and resources for further exploration

To learn more about safety, materials, and best practices surrounding sex toys, you can consult:

• Statistics and usage of sex toys
  Recent data on the ownership and use of sex toys.
  Bedbible – State of Sex Toys Industry Statistics
• Materials, porosity and safety
  Explanations on porous vs non-porous materials, phthalates and body-safe materials.
  CaraSutra – Sex Toy Materials Guide
  AdultToyMegaStore – Sex Toy Material Guide
  Enhance the UK – Sex Toy Safety (PDF)
• STIs and sex toys
  Medical information on the transmission of STIs via sex toys and recommended precautions.
  Healthline – Sex Toys and STIs
  Australian Government – ​​STI Prevention: Shared Sex Toys
  Homediq – Safe with Sex Toys: Prevent STIs
• Common mistakes and best practices
  Educational articles on common mistakes (cleaning, lubrication, sharing, charging, etc.).
  LELO – Common Mistakes with Sex Toys
  SELF – Surprising Sex Toy Mistakes
  Lovense – Do's and Don'ts Using Sex Toys

These resources complement the article with more technical information on safety, materials, and hygiene, helping you make informed choices that are right for your body. To continue with a holistic approach to pleasure, you can also browse our other blog articles on female pleasure , male pleasure , sex toys for couples , sexual fantasies … and explore our selections of sex toys for women , sex toys for men , sex toys for couples , anal sex toys , and lubricants to put it all into practice, at your own pace.